Support for you

Dealing with change

Having a life-limiting illness changes a person's life. Feelings can change from day to day, hour to hour and even minute to minute.

People may also experience changes in family roles and relationships, and may have to deal with the prospect of giving up work and dealing with changes to their financial independence.

You can go through a range of feelings such as denial, anger, fear, depression and even guilt. All these feelings are normal. At times you may be angry, afraid or worried and other times feel sad, guilty or lonely. At times you may not really believe you have a life-limiting illness and have a strong sense of hope for the future.

Coping with your feelings

Talking to others about your feeling can help you to deal with your emotions and the impact that your illness is having on the quality of your life. It may help if you can talk to someone who:

• you feel comfortable with
• is a good listener
• is patient and will understand your feelings
• will be truthful with you

Be honest and talk about all your feelings, not just the positive ones. 'Down days' are to be expected so you don’t need to pretend to be cheerful when you’re not, as this can keep you from getting the help you need.

Sometimes carers and family members find it difficult to have these conversations so you may find it easier to talk to someone outside your family.

Friends and family

Just as you have strong feelings about your illness and what is happening to you, your family and friends will too and may try to hide their feelings or behave in a way you do not expect. They may not want to upset you and will act as if nothing is bothering them. They may even think that by being cheerful, your illness will go away. They may also:

• want to blame someone for your illness
• change the subject when someone talks about your illness
• avoid talking to you about your illness
• make jokes abut your illness
• pretend to be cheerful all the time
• stay away from you or keep their visits short

Health professionals are available to help you and your family to cope with your feelings. It is important for you to talk to them about how you are feeling so they can help you to find the support you need.