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Pat and Keith's story

On the end of a loved one’s life

When Pat said she wanted to come home Keith didn’t hesitate. Pat was a home bird and coming home raised her spirits.

Interviewer: Similarly, how did you feel about her decision to die at home?

Keith: Pat... I mean you get this expression again that you're a home burden, that she was in all respects... no different from millions of other mothers and wives, I mean, she really was. This environment, wherever we were... we never talked about houses and values. It was, whatever your accommodation, that's your home. It doesn't matter whether it's a hovel or whether it's a mansion, it's what you make of that in terms of... we've been together all that time. I felt... when she said to me, "I want to come home," there was no doubt in my mind. You had to be here to realize what it meant to her when she came through that door. It was extraordinary, and as I say, in any way, no implied criticism of the facilities, the hospice or anything else, she was morally uplifted as soon as she came through that door. You could see it in her, you could feel it in her, and it was a remarkable increase, again, in her spirits. That's all I can say. I had no hesitancy in agreeing... it wasn't agreeing, in saying, "Yeah, you come home," and as it turned out, it was a wonderful development, and I'm sure you can never be completely knowing in terms of what that individual feels, but I'm sure it made a great difference to her. When I say difference, a feeling of great comfort, and I had no doubt.

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