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New poll reveals 28% of people have never spoken to a friend or family member about their end of life wishes, and half (51%) have made unchecked assumptions about them
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Top questions people want to ask friends and family before they die revealed
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Launch comes as almost one in three miss out on the end of life care they need -
More than one in four people (28%) have never had a conversation with a friend or family member about their end of life wishes according to a new poll from Marie Curie, with half (51%) admitting they have made assumptions that they have never checked.
In response, the end of life charity has launched Exit Interview Cards, a new conversation deck created by its experts, following many conversations with end of life patients and their families and friends. The cards are designed to encourage an open dialogue around dying and help people plan for the end of life, with questions ranging from the practical to the deeply personal.
They cover everything from where someone wants to spend their final days and who they want with them in the room to what they most fear about dying and whether there is anything important they wish to reveal to those closest to them.
The poll findings highlight a gap in what we know about those closest to us. While half (51%) know what the favourite music or meal of their closest friend or family member was, only a third (36%) had been told how these individuals would want to be supported at the end of life.
The cards are designed to aid those conversations and help guide people in what they may want, as only half (53%) of poll respondents said they are clear on their own end of life preferences, and one in 10 (10%) haven’t even thought about it.
To help families and friends bridge this gap, the Exit Interview Cards encourage individuals and those closest to them to put all their cards on the table at any stage of life, ensuring everyone is prepared and supported long before the time comes.
The deck of cards includes the top five questions people want to ask their friends or family members before they die – as revealed by the new poll:
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“Does someone have access to all of your important documents?” (33%)
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“Who would you like with you in your last hours?” (33%)
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“Where do you hope you’ll spend your last days?” (30%)
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“In your final days, would you choose happy family chaos or quiet intimate peace?” (26%)
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“What music, smells, or personal touches would bring you peace during your care?” (25%)
Lynn Devine, Clinical Nurse Manager at Marie Curie, said: “Talking about death is never easy, but having these conversations early can make a real difference. When planning for the end of life, it is so important that individuals are given the opportunity to be heard, listened to, and understood. The Exit Interview Cards help open up these conversations, allowing individuals to share what matters most to them, their wishes, values, and preferences for the future. By understanding what is important to someone, we can help ensure their care reflects who they are and what they want, giving them greater choice, dignity, and peace of mind.”
Kate Dobbs, who is living with terminal cancer, said: “My husband Glen and I have had to have some of the conversations that many people put off, but there are so many questions that we hadn’t even thought of. These cards have really helped structure those discussions. We can talk openly about what matters to me, and how I’d like to be cared for in the future and any arrangements I would like. Glen also felt they helped him get a better understanding in advance about what I may want too.
“I hope people really do use these cards with anyone they feel comfortable with and trust. You don’t have to wait until someone is ill. Talking now or at any time can help ensure that wishes are understood, people feel prepared and nothing is left unsaid.”
The launch comes as almost one in three people in the UK don’t get the care they need at the end of their life, and too many die in pain, distressed or alone. Marie Curie believes everyone deserves good care at the end of life, not just a lucky few. As well as its hospices, the charity is bringing more of its care into local communities and people’s homes, so more people know where to turn and can get help sooner.
The cards are part of The Goodbye We All Deserve, a new Marie Curie campaign running across TV, radio, YouTube, podcasts and social media. The campaign’s 60-second advert can be watched at https://tinyurl.com/49scxexv.
Through real-life stories, the moving and thought-provoking campaign shows what good end of life care can look like when people get the right support at the right time. It aims to help more people understand what Marie Curie does and how to get its expert care, information and support earlier.
The charity says that planning care early helps people get the support they need sooner and spend more time at home with their friends and family loved ones, rather than reaching a crisis and spending their final weeks in and out of hospital.
The Exit Interview Cards are available to download for use online now at mariecurie.org.uk, the packs can be purchased at shop.mariecurie.org.uk with all proceeds going to Marie Curie.
To find out more, access resources, or support Marie Curie’s end of life care services, visit www.mariecurie.org.uk.
Marie Curie’s 60-second advert for The Goodbye We All Deserve is available to view at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJ9einrVlFs.