In the latest episode of On the Marie Curie Couch, Clover Stroud sits down with Jason Davidson.
Clover is a bestselling writer and journalist. She has a popular platform on Substack called On the Way Life Feels where she tackles big topics like motherhood, grief, marriage, sex, death, love and creativity. She’s the author of four memoirs, including the Sunday Times bestsellers My Wild and Sleepless Nights: A Mother's Story, and The Red of My Blood: A Death and Life Story. Her first memoir, The Wild Other, was shortlisted for the Wainwright Prize, and her most recent, The Giant on the Skyline, was a best book of 2024. She currently lives in Washington DC with her husband and three of her five children.
In this conversation, the death of her sister, Nell, the cultural differences around death in the UK and US, and how we sometimes embody those who have died.
"In grief... places trigger a connection"
I lost these three really important women and I find my relationship with [them] in familiar places in England... I can find myself in this sense memory of being around them and being with them. That can be painful but it’s also really reassuring. When I got to America, I had a moment of real crisis of: how do I re-access those memories? I have no shared memories with them in America. In grief, those things trigger a tangible connection to the person we’ve lost.
Grief across cultures
People are less inclined to talk about death. Hardly anybody even uses the word death. It’s very rare in my experience. The phrase ‘passed away’ or ‘passed on’ is always used. I think it’s interesting and I understand why people don’t want to use the word death because there’s a harshness and solemnity to it. I feel more uncomfortable using the phrase ‘passed away’ because I feel slightly confused by it, whereas there’s this finality to ‘death’ which I find helpful.
Listen now
Listen to Jason's chat with Clover on the player at the top of the page. You can also listen or download the conversation via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
You can also watch a subtitled version of the conversation on YouTube.
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If you need support with bereavement or grief, call the Marie Curie Support Line on 0800 090 2309 or visit mariecurie.org.uk/information
