In the latest episode of On the Marie Curie Couch, Tom Digby sits down with Jason Davidson.
Tom is a British rower who competes with the GB Rowing Team. Since joining the team in 2021, he has won Gold in the men’s eight at two World Championships and at three European Championships, before claiming Gold with his teammates at the Paris 2024 Olympic Games in the men’s eight. Tom is also a graduate of Yale University, where he majored in Astrophysics.
In this conversation, Tom talks with Jason about the death of his mum, Julie, how family dynamics can change after a death and accepting being a lesser version of yourself during grief.
Content note: This conversation includes discussions of death and grief that might be triggering or upsetting.
“Mum was the boss. There's a different dynamic now”
There’s a whole different dynamic in terms of the family, the rebalancing and how you manage that. It felt like in some ways I had to step up and fill [Mum's] shoes. It would be a very different experience watching Mum lose Dad. I can see how different that would’ve been. I would always feel safe with her there, she would just take control of everything so I would never have had to step up in other ways.
“I got her a blanket for the times I couldn't be there”
My love language is physical touch. My counsellor recommended that I get something for Mum, so I got her a nice blanket. I wrote a letter and I said, "This is for all the times that I can’t be here." When she went into hospital… I put it at the foot of her bed and it stayed with her every night until she passed, at which point I took it home with me. She had got a little label attached to it that says, "Whenever you’re in need of a hug."
Listen now
Listen to Jason's chat with Tom on the player at the top of the page. You can also listen or download the conversation via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
You can also watch a subtitled version of the conversation on YouTube.
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If you need support with bereavement or grief, call the Marie Curie Support Line on 0800 090 2309 or visit mariecurie.org.uk/information
