When my uncle Thomas was diagnosed with bowel cancer at 56, the news came too late. By the time it was confirmed, it had spread to his brain.
My aunt couldn't really cope with him, and my mum and dad weren't in a position to look after him either. He needed specialist care.
Eventually, Thomas was admitted to a Marie Curie Hospice, and the care he received there left a lasting impression on me.
"The care my uncle had from Marie Curie was a huge, really positive thing."
To see first-hand the treatment and care he received made such a big impression on me. It was things like access to the right medication and pain relief, keeping him clean, looking after his personal care and keeping him aware of what was going on.
He had a television and a view of the fields surrounding the hospice. It was a lovely place. A really beautiful place. I thought, what a great way to give somebody the care and treatment that none of the family really could.
The care he had from Marie Curie was a huge, really positive thing.
For anyone who has to go through a loved one dying, that care made a big difference to our family because we couldn't have given him the support he needed at that point.
From then on, I knew I'd like to give something back to Marie Curie in some way.
"I've seen both sides. I know what the gold standard looks like, and what happens when families don't have support."
My uncle and I were very close. I think he was about 19 when I was born. Sometimes he'd work abroad and, when he came back to Edinburgh, we'd go for a drink and catch up on the football and other things. We had a lot in common.
The death of my uncle hit my sister really hard. She loved him. He taught her to drive and things like that. For my dad, it was his younger brother.
Terminal illness has been a common thread in our family. My grandad died from pancreatic cancer when I was 14. My gran had terminal cancer. Another uncle, my mum's brother, had throat cancer and died.
I wished my grandad had received the sort of care and treatment that my uncle had. My grandad was in absolute agony.
At least with my uncle, he had round-the-clock care. If he was in pain, they could deal with it right there and then. I've seen both sides. I know what the gold standard looks like, and I know what happens when families don't have that level of support.
Why I decided to volunteer for Marie Curie
There's some classic advice around the first year of grief. You need time and shouldn't just dive into something new.
But now I'm older and in a good place. With online support becoming so much easier to access, I thought I could do something in that area.
When I saw an advertisement for Marie Curie's Online Community volunteers, I thought: "Well, I could do that. That would be fine with me."
Things just snowballed from there.
Just recently, I responded to somebody whose brother has bowel cancer that's spread to the brain, which is very similar to what happened with my uncle. I could really connect with that person because I'd been through something similar myself.
Supporting people through the Marie Curie Online Community
The Online Community is a message board for people who are experiencing grief or supporting someone with a terminal illness, as well as those living with a terminal illness.
People come looking for support, reassurance or simply somewhere to share what's on their mind. Sometimes the conversations are about loss and caring for someone who's ill. Other times they're about everyday things, there was one discussion recently about favourite films.
Those of us who volunteer often have our own direct experience, so we can speak and support from the heart.
We can also signpost people to other services, including the Marie Curie Support Line, or direct them to other parts of the Online Community that may be helpful.
The power of shared experience and emotional support
I've been through some of the same experiences as the people posting in the community, and sometimes that's what helps most.
I talk about taking time out and finding ways to look after yourself, as well as the person you may be caring for.
What we can't do is comment on specific medical care. That's when we signpost people to the Support Line. But we can be there for the more general things. The emotional needs.
There's always support and supervision available if we need it, but it's still difficult when you know somebody is in pain.
That's why the training is so important. We go through really thorough training to help prepare us for those situations. It's been really insightful.
"It's a safe space where no one knows you"
I think one of the most helpful things about the Online Community is that people can use it whenever it suits them.
It's something you can do in your own time. You can share how you're feeling, step away for a while, then come back when you're ready.
There's no need to actually speak to anyone. There's freedom in that too. You don't have to explain or vocalise everything you're going through.
There's also something powerful about talking to somebody who isn't a family member, close friend or colleague. In the Online Community, you can unburden yourself without feeling self-conscious.
When my uncle passed away, I told people at work because I was signed off for a couple of weeks. But if someone had sat me down and asked how I was coping, I probably wouldn't have wanted to talk about it.
This feels different because it's a safe space where no one knows you.
"Volunteering gives you a lift too"
I'm in my forties now and in a pretty good place. I felt like I could give back a little and try to help.
Recently, after I'd responded to a woman's posts and shared some of my own experiences, she replied: "Thanks very much. I appreciate you coming back to me."
I thought that was a really nice thing to say. A lovely gesture, especially considering what she's going through.
Of course, I could make a donation as well, but volunteering is something more substantial that I can do.
And, it gives you a lift too.
Reading about death, dying and end of life can bring up a range of emotions. If anything in this story has affected you, our Support Line is here for you.
You can reach our Support Line on 0800 090 2309*. Open 8am to 6pm Monday to Friday, and 10am to 4pm Saturday to Sunday.
If you'd like to get involved and volunteer for Marie Curie then you can find more information on our volunteering page.
Feel free to browse our Online Community message boards, signing up is free and everyone is welcome.
*Calls are free from landlines and mobile phones. Your call may be recorded for quality and training purposes.