“Marie Curie gave Dad a way to look after us, even as he was dying”

When Mum died, Dad was on his own after nearly 45 years of marriage. Mum had been the sociable one and Dad was ‘The Quiet Man’ but it was eye-opening to see how many friends he had. He was really picking up.

In January 2024, when he was at a Burns Supper, we noticed he was tripping over his words. Scans revealed a brain tumour. The sad truth was we knew from the outset it was going to be terminal.

By January 2025 the growth was no longer contained and things progressed pretty quicky. As a family we rallied round, we made sure someone was available during the day and made a little rota of who would be staying overnight. At this point we were formally introduced to the Marie Curie team.

By now, Dad’s speech was really difficult. He could still understand everything but his ability to respond was pretty much gone. They made sure he was involved in the conversation and not patronised.

They introduced their role as the liaisons to pull everything together. They knew what services were available and were able to arrange all his medication. It was a huge relief.

Marie Curie told us: “We can manage his symptoms from home even if they do get complex.” And to him they said: “Alex, if home’s where you want to be – then that’s where you’ll be.”

Their expertise was a huge comfort. They had dealt with this so often.

I could hand over the organisational things and just sit and have a cup of coffee with Dad.

I’d been trying to make phone calls to get equipment in place, but I was getting frustrated. Marie Curie, again, on that first visit listened and said: “What do you feel you need?”

That same afternoon they called and said: “We’ve got physio sorted, it’s coming out tomorrow, and they are going to bring the equipment”.

The other service they informed us about was the overnights. Dad’s face just lit up. We were all joking saying: “Are we that bad to have around Dad?”, but what we teased out was this gave him a way of still looking after us.

We could get a good uninterrupted rest and know that all his needs had been dealt with so we could just go in and be with him in the morning.

Then at the end of March, one morning it was much more difficult to wake him. I got a squeeze of the hand. By the afternoon, he was slipping off.

I phoned Marie Curie and Nurse Katherine came out that afternoon and assessed Dad. She said: “It’s always hard to say at this stage, but you are probably looking like this is heading towards the end.”

Being able to very factually tell us what we might expect and guide us as to what to do was invaluable. We wouldn’t have known where to begin but she had such knowledge. She was matter of fact but with so much kindness, it made things so much more manageable.

The death of someone you love is never easy, but having the Marie Curie team on hand allowed it to be so much more what we had hoped for.

Dad was loved and cared for right to the end in a way that we as a family would have moved mountains to make happen. We followed his wishes, gave him his choices, and he passed away at home, peacefully, surrounded by everybody that he loved.

I was ecstatic when I got the place. Dad died on 4 April last year, I’d watched the marathon shortly afterwards and thought, ‘I’m going to apply for this’.

I had a conversation with Dad about six months before he died. He said: “You’ve got a marathon in you.” I said: “It’s finding the time, Dad” and he looked at me and said: “Well, you found time to do everything you need to do for me.”

Doing the TCS London Marathon for Marie Curie stands by Mum and Dads’ values of living a fulfilled life – spending time with ones you love, doing the things you love and doing something that lifts others in hard times. For me to do that in their memory is so important.

I know that if Mum and Dad were still here, they’d be at the finish line on the day with a bottle of champagne – or maybe a pot of coffee. They were always so proud of us.

My brother Chris, Matt and I are all running for Marie Curie. Together, we’re aiming to raise £10,000.

I’m delighted if the money goes to allowing people that all round support. Having experienced the overnight care and the compassionate care, I just want people who are at end of life for whatever reason, and their loved ones, to have that comfort.

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