Hazel is a Companion in Hospital volunteer. She talks us through her journey to becoming a Companion, and how what seemed like a daunting role at first has been powerful and enriched other areas of her life.
“I have my finger in a few pies but it’s all because of the journey of my own life”
After qualifying as a nursery nurse, I worked in Children’s Services in Cardiff for 25 years in a variety of roles. I was a day care support worker to prevent family breakdown, a social work assistant working with children, a personal advisor supporting young adolescents, and a supported lodgings co-ordinator where I matched people who had the heart to open up their homes to allow care leavers to live with them.
I also volunteer for advocacy services, eating disorder services and mental health services. I have my finger in a few pies but it’s all because of the journey of my own life.
If I hadn’t been on these journeys, I wouldn’t have understood or had the same compassion for those who really struggle with these issues. That’s why I wanted to give back, because so much has been given to me in terms of support.
“I was able to visit him several times, it so touched my heart and soul”
When I saw that Marie Curie was looking for Companion in Hospital volunteers, I was already volunteering at a Marie Curie Hospice doing reception work. When I first read the advert, I was wary – I couldn’t think of anything worse at the time!
But the more I kept reading, I observed and reflected on my own life experiences and my desires to be involved in some kind of volunteer work. It’s not about me, it’s about making a difference – no matter how tiny, no matter how short term.
I had training through Marie Curie and University Hospital Wales about common themes and scenarios that I might be involved in. The staff in the Palliative Care team were very supportive and helped me feel at ease.
The first person I supported had only been given 48 hours to live, but he survived for another two weeks. It seems like such a small and insignificant thing to just sit and talk with someone, but it so touched my heart and soul.
My next experience was being with someone who had no living relatives or friends. I sat for two days and two nights with her. I offered tenderness and compassion through talking, playing music, singing a variety of songs, holding hands, particularly when her body was etched with pain and became restless.
"In the stillness of that room, we connected on a level that will be forever etched in my heart"
This was my first experience of being with someone at the very end stage of life. It humbled me, touched my soul, and in the stillness of that room, we connected on a level that will be forever etched in my heart and mind.
I didn’t need to stay with her for the length of time that I did, but while she was breathing, she was still alive, and I didn’t want her to be alone in those final moments.
More recently, I was supporting a couple where the husband was at the end of life in hospital. I noticed the wife was really distressed. I signposted her to Marie Curie, and she ended up receiving bereavement support after the death of her husband.
“My experience has enabled me to understand people”
For me, the dying process ebbs ever closer to a person eventually coming to their final resting place, so that bit in between is where I desire to bring something, whatever little light it is, for that moment in time.
My experience has enabled me to understand people. Even when conversations are difficult, I try to think how I can creatively meet a need where I’m not asking questions that trigger anxiety, worry or distress.
I can’t express enough what a privilege it is to be able to be part of someone’s journey, and it’s helped me realise what I am capable of. And now I want to talk about it to encourage other people to have the same privilege that I have had.
