Meet Jenny, she's receiving end of life care in our West Midlands Hospice. Here are six things Jenny would like you to know about dying.
1. I can make the choices I want to make and I'm supported to make those choices
The care I've had here means I feel well enough to say this is what I want and I'm being listened to, I cannot ask for anything better than that. I've had a good life and Marie Curie is enabling me to have a good death because I'm being supported. That empowers me so much.
2. Say I love you
I text people to say I love them every morning so they know I'm still alive and I've made it to another day. Hopefully at some point those messages will be a comfort for them when they need it and I hope it'll help them remember me with a smile.
3. In life and death, we want to be treated as ourselves
The Marie Curie team treat me as me. They've given me my dignity. We have a laugh and a joke because that's just me. I swear a lot and I want to make people smile because, you know, I don't want people to be sad. That's not me.
They've read my character very well and they are reflecting it back at me with their care and humour and that's just flipping wonderful. Because in life and death, we want to be treated as ourselves, not as a patient, not as a number.
Jenny in her hospice room
4. In hospital you might feel helpless because you're not well enough to take charge of your care
It was a very traumatic time for my family, I was stuck there and no-one seemed interested. I'm lucky because I had my family fighting to get me here where we're now all being taken care of - there's nothing to be scared about dying if you're well supported.
5. Palliative care needs to be properly funded so everyone can get the care and support they need
I don't know the ins and outs of government funding, but I know it's not right and it's not fair that what you get depends on where you live. My dream woud be that everyone could have an experience like mine. I've always said how grateful I am to be supported on this last journey and I treat each new day as a gift.
6. I'm not scared of dying
Of course you have to allow yourself time to process it, it's a lot to take in and you have to be kind to yourself. Everyone is different and everyone's journey is different, but there's only so many things you can change in life, isn't there? Some you can, a lot of things you can't, so now I am in the place of acceptance.
It's all about the love. You come in with love. You want to go out with love. I think of death as redistributing energy and I hope my positive energy stays with the people around me for a long, long time.
Reading about death, dying and end of life can bring up a range of emotions. If anything in this story has affected you, our Support Line is here for you.
You can reach our Support Line on 0800 090 2309*. Open 8am to 6pm Monday to Friday, and 10am to 4pm Saturday to Sunday.
*Calls are free from landlines and mobile phones. Your call may be recorded for quality and training purposes.
